Whoo. Had an interesting day. Gonna spilt my day into 2 separate entries.

First of all, hallelujah- my Self-Defense class was cancelled due to the instructor's illness. I get to sleep away and recover from the whirlwind I had today.

Last night *glances at time- 12:30am. Eh, I mean Thursday*, ECDC, our bible study group was talking and discussing the topic of forgiveness throughoutly. I felt an stronger and urgent nudging from God, and knew. He had been nudging me for few weeks now- but I was too unsure to take action.

John Taft, our new leader in the group (also deaf pastor at a deaf church *smile*), brought up the topic of forgiveness. I listened as he said we had to be a humble servant; he explained that perphaps a person had wronged us and hurt us, but we need to still forgive them; pride can interfere with asking a person for forgiveness- that we're convinced that person who had wronged us should ask us for forgiveness, for they had hurt us more; we need to put aside our pride and ask this person for forgiveness- that will set you free; if you don't forgive others or ask for forgiveness- God won't forgive you; if you've forgiven them or asked for their forgiveness, but they won't give it to you or won't ask you to forgive them- you're free, and the person is not.

I knew that God was using this to point out the conflict with Roberta. I hesitated, because I had that nudging feeling few weeks ago, but I felt that it wasn't the right timing.

I decided that I had to ask Roberta for forgiveness- I had also wronged her last year by holding a grudge against her, spreading negativity (not like slashing her or anything- it actually was a very vague one- ranting to friends too much can cause that.), and going behind her back and refusing to confront her. I know that she had wronged me far more, but I need to set myself free. I know I've been healing for the last month, and actually respect and are beginning to love her again. I'll never trust her, but I have to love my enemies- I can't let them to destroy me.

I decided to find a support buddy, for I knew that there was a definite possibility that I would change my mind tomorrow. I chose Gina, for we could support each other mutually- with me pushing her to give a gift to someone special to her (she's nervous about that), and her pushing me to talk to Roberta.

I was uncomfortable, and changed my mind frequently. Like I knew Gina would, she approached me and asked me if I had completed my duty. Nope. I had to wait for the right timing- I needed to catch Roberta alone.

Today, we had our christmas party. A bangin' success- the room we had reserved was way too small- around 40 people showed up, including proficient ASL students, deafies, interpreters, deaf/hh teachers. But still, the room was filled with jolly laughter and chatter.

The bell rung, signalling the end of the school day, and the beginning of a much-needed long vacation.

I knew Roberta had returned to her room, so I went after her. Uttered a quick prayer that my heart would be right, and for me to be set free.

Caught her in the hall, and requested to speak to her privately. Roberta's face was stiff. I knew that she probably was expecting me to confront her or something. But I surprised her when I began out with asking her for her forgiveness of me wronging her last year. Her face expression softened. She accepted my request and forgave me. She mentioned that she wasn't that perfect, or even near it- I chuckled and included myself in that opinion. She also did ask me for forgiveness if she had wronged me. Our converstation ended with a mutual smile and a hug.

When I walked away- I felt free. I knew I had learned a lesson through this. I knew I'm finally completedly healed.

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